sometimes, life just kicks you!

[wastrel]

after a weekend at a hotel (chalet) with us 4 & the dogs, segways, archery, assault course & ziplines 30 ft up in the trees, tennis, swimming, tickets to a gig, a mega bucks garmin smart watch, a flight in a sea plane over loch Lomond to come-my lot really pushed the boat out for me for my 50th birthday & I will be eternally grateful,
then BANG- my wee bro at the age of 37 was found in his flat dead on the 11th of this month, I came home to the news!
bit like your team 1-0 down with seconds to go, hitting the bar when you think it`s going in, the biggest high to the lowest low, & I`d watched on helplessly as he basically killed himself with booze, death cert` says cerebral hematoma (suspected fall) read bleeding on the brain.
my visits to the local police, drop in centres, AA meeting all met with the same answer "unless your brother is stood beside you asking for help, we can`t help you/him"!
despite taking him food & leccy cards when he hit rock bottom (I took advice from some at the AA meeting who gave me advice from experience-never to give him cash- & put the cards in the meter myself so he couldn`t sell them), he let down &/or abused every family member & close friend he had over the last 3 years as he descended into a constant stupor, I spoke to the guy from the letting agency who found him when he defaulted on his rent, he told me people die at home usually, Chris wasn`t the first he`d found unfortunately, me & mine cleaned & cleared his flat, undertaker told me from over 40 years experience Chris had lain for about a month.
he sent his last txt on the 10th sept` to a old friend who was reaching out to try & help him, he told me he`d warned him if he didn`t change his life he`d be found in the flat, alone, dead!!!
I asked him when he told him that? he replied "must be about 10 weeks since I saw him last"! I told him I`d told Chris the very same 2 1/2 years ago!
so on the one hand it`s one less worry, wondering when I`d get `That` knock, on the other, I`d urge any member going through the same to never give up on anyone you know doing the same, I`ve been told by former alcoholics it`s NEVER too late to save anyone.
I wish I`d done a load of things differently but, I`m not feeling guilty or out, I realise who is entirely at fault here, just, sometimes, despite your best efforts, life just kicks you!

[Blackbaronfish]

Sorry to hear of your loss.

BBF

[gary martin]

So sorry to hear Si, been through a similar situation recently myself. Thoughts are with you.
Gary.

[eboswan]

Oh sorry too hear that wastrel my condolences too all the family.

[Big Dog]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss and the surrounding circumstances. I have been through this myself with both a family member and many years ago my Mum's partner. It can drain you and fill you with many different and difficult emotions. My thoughts are with you and your family at such a difficult time.

[wastrel]

thankyou for your comments, & Bri` -cheers, when I come here I feel like I`m with family, but the group hug emogi thingy really rings true right now, it`s why I come here, real friends

[Raj]

Sorry to hear, Si. You take care, mate.

[FPoole]

Sad news for sure. 37 is just too young.

[Brooksy]

Terrible thing when you are helpless, sometimes there's simply nothing you can do to counter a hard addiction and it leads to tragedy. Without all the time in the world to spare and nobody else to look after you can only do so much and I'm sure you did all you could.

[granville]

my brother inlaw is slowly doing the same thing to him self .
been dried out 7 or 8 times but no stopping him .
so sorry for you .