Paraprosdokians :)

User avatar
Avra
Posts: 37
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2015 5:29 pm

Paraprosdokians :)

Fri May 01, 2015 9:07 pm

1.
Women will never be equal to
men until they can
walk down the street with a
bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy .

2.
You do not need a parachute
to skydive . You
only need a parachute to
skydive twice.

3.
To be sure of hitting the
target, shoot first
and call whatever you hit
the
target.
Air In Motion

User avatar
Raj
Posts: 2005
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2015 9:36 pm
Location: Rugby

Re: Paraprosdokians :)

Fri May 01, 2015 10:29 pm

Aye .... 8-)
“It's the Indian, not the arrow"

User avatar
Blackbaronfish
Posts: 3690
Joined: Sun Feb 15, 2015 6:20 pm
Location: Nuneaton

Re: Paraprosdokians :)

Sat May 02, 2015 7:28 am

Is he taking about you Raj :oops: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

BBF
Did I mention that I'm the only one to have attended EVERY meet since we started

User avatar
gdavison
Posts: 366
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2015 6:43 am
Location: Baughurst

Re: Paraprosdokians :)

Sat May 02, 2015 8:08 am

few more

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay cheques.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR".

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
.
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.

ome cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

You're never too old to learn something stupid.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
AA FTP900, AA HFT500, AA S510, FWB-800FT

Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 23 guests