this is a true story not a joke, but (I think) funny as hell, go`s on a bit but stick with it,
the gaffer has been serving (primary mind) school kids their dinners since 1999 in a building separate from the school building, (comes relevant later, trust me) anyhoo, the staff are all local, know most if not all of the kids or their families, nowadays she`s serving even kids of kids she served in the past, & they know who`re the wee toe rags, whose parent(s) just don`t have much, there`ll be a wee scoop extra of chips with a wink here & there, she`s so softly spoken & simply the kindest person I`ve ever met, the kids just love her, & over the years, there have been the occasional group of giggling young boys, with one ashen faced laddy & one will shout "Allen (or whoever) says he fancies you Jacky" cue fits of giggles & sometimes floods of tears from the mortified young boy who`s let his tounge slip, but that`s just a crush & normal for most youngsters, but one day her friend Doreen the cleaner comes up & sez "I may as well tell you, someone`s written summit about you on the wall of the boys toilet, we`ve tried to clean it with everything to no avail & have had to call in the council painters to paint it out"
`J` s shoulders slumped,
she said "Oh god, do I really need to hear what they`ve written"?
Doreen said "actually, it`s not that bad, it says Jacky No1 milf"
as she`s telling me the story she said "I said to Doreen shocked---what`s MILF
I laughed for days at the graffiti & her genuine ignorance, accused her jokingly of leading young lads astray with her flirtatious ways
anyhoo, Doreen comes by later & says "whaddyya think O those cheeky sod painters, asked if they could have their dinner over here, I told them to----right off & get to their van" (she has a tongue Doreen, let me tell you)
so, that`s the gaffer, an adolescents fantasy, apparently!