Religions, the real meanings.

[Timmytree]

Taoism. Shit happens.
Hinduism. This shit happened before!
Islamism. If shit happens, take a hostage.
Buddhism. When shit happens, is it really shit?
7th day Adventists. Shit happens on Saturdays.
Protestantism. Shit won't happen if I work harder.
Catholicism. If shit happens I deserve it.
Jehovahs. "KNOCK KNOCK" SHIT HAPPENS!
Judaism. Why does shit always happen to me?
Hare Krishna. Shit happens, "Rama lama ding dong"
Atheism. No shit!
TV evangelists. Send more shit.
Rastafarianism. Let's smoke this shit!